bloglurking

2002-11-04T11:36:00.000-08:00

NOW IT'S TIME TO SING A SAD SONG FOR OUR BELOVED MUFFIN

this was my journal a week ago, when the vet diagnosed he had lung cancer. he had few a more quiet, dignified days with us, and i loved feeling his weight on my lap. but he was so obviously unhappy and uncomfortable, so we let him go, gently, on friday night. his body's resting in my garden and his spirit is around, but i miss the life of him:

"muffin adopted us when we bought our first house in Melville. he has survived a lot. once we nearly lost him: he collided with a car, lost a few teeth and the functioning of an eye, but pulled through.
a few years ago, he adopted my folks, he preferred the more dignified atmosphere in the other house.
dad's had him on the special kidney diet for a while.

when i brought him home this morning, he was still struggling to breathe, even though the vet drained a whole cup of fluid from his lungs. dad wanted me to 'let him go' there and then, but i know the kids are attached to him, and i want them to be a part of the process. ex also said let him go. but he also appreciates my approach.

anyway, if the diuretics don't have an effect on his breathing in the next 48 hours, we are going to have to do the most unthinkable. my mom took our pets to the vet for that when i was a kid. now i have to do it. it's awful. i am terribly upset, and I'm not a crazy animal person. but muff has been a special part of our lives"

i am so so sad

2002-10-03T09:07:00.000-07:00

CLOSED FOR THE SILLY SEASON

I'm afraid this blog is closed until all the silliness wears off

2002-09-30T13:23:00.000-07:00

R.I.P. HUFFIES.

Gonna be some sweet sounds coming down on the nightshift
I bet you're singing proud, oh I bet you'll pull a crowd
Gonna be a long night, it's gonna be all right on the nightshift
Oh you found another home, I know you're not alone on the nightshift

Gonna miss your sweet voice that soulful voice on the nightshift
We all remember you, oh the songs are coming through
At the end of a long day it's gonna be okay on the nightshift
You found another home, I know you're not alone on the nightshift

2002-09-29T05:45:00.000-07:00

i have had hundreds of requests for ideas for my birthday, and do i have to remind you all how much i love books, so gimme an EB voucher any day. those with dollars are welcome to peruse my amazon wishlist here

hey this duzzent work. speak to my agent.

2002-09-28T08:37:00.000-07:00

my philosophy of life, just for today, is this:

EVERYTHING IS CONNECTED

i thnk that this is why i really like this link about different ways of treating criminals. makes me think of my internship year ahead, in a psychiatric institution. anyone here interested in joining my psychoashram?

2002-09-25T09:05:00.000-07:00

I miss you, my lover, and ache for you.
Just to call you and to hear your voice, just to hear you say my name,
the way you do, to feel all the love you give me through your voice and words,
I want to do that with everything I have got
I want to feel your arms around me just one more time,
hear you laugh in that way, loud and abandoned.
You are so butch, I love that about you
Your face your silence your smell your smile your music
You
just you
I want you and
I miss you
Just you

You hands and body and skin are burned into my skin and flesh
How can I ever love again when you are etched onto me like this?

Am I just a coward?
A fantasist? A hopeless romantic? A doomed loner?
Always running?
Or should I trust my gut: we would not be good for each other?
I am terrified of hurting you, and now I am burning you

Letting you go burns me
But I must. I cannot love you
I cannot equal your obsession
I do not match you
I am always flitting
You deserve better

Your pain eats into me
Is this my pain or yours?
I do not know any more
Ah who fucking knows
Only time will tell me
If I have fooled myself

2002-09-24T03:35:00.000-07:00

I am supposed to be celebrating Heritage Day today, but I lost a good friend recently, so I shall have to celebrate another day.

2002-09-22T11:55:00.000-07:00

NATIONAL RIPOFF

Last week we were told that we would see the mystery of the pyramids revealed live on satellite tv. Well, folks, that has gotta be National Geographic's most embarrassing buildup. While we (I include my 12 year-old son in the 'we' -- he stayed up for the historic moment on a school night) waited two hours for the UPUAUT robot to trek all the way up the tunnel (hey, why didn't they get it up beFORE we switched on?) we were treated to Mr Zahi Cowboy Hawass's version of the truth of the pyramids. So while we waited for the BIG MOMENT cowboy himself prized open a recently unearthed sarcophagus and gleefully told his captive audience exactly what the skeletal remains told us, without any reference to proper scientific investigations.

I never saw the big moment. It was all too much like coitus interruptus, I'm afraid.

I bet Cowboy Zahi's never read any Thomas Kuhn. But bloggers like Graham Hancock, Antony Bauval and John Anthony West probably give him the wobblies.

2002-09-21T11:39:00.000-07:00

i have got to learn to post pics becuase we were at the airshow today and only pictures can say what i want to say

2002-09-16T13:29:00.000-07:00

some people happen to be celebrating a BIRTHDAY today...

if you are twelve or under, have a ball, and for those forty somethings, a case of amstels is on order!!!

2002-09-15T07:05:00.000-07:00

is this true: women speak more than men? sounds a bit sweeping, but some people think they can justify such a view. jonathan would take issue. yadda yadda

2002-09-15T06:25:00.000-07:00

ok, i relented and adopted fifteen of the lettuce munchers. after at least 35 years of watching these things, i still find 'em fascinating. my new challenge will be to see if i can breed a whole generation of zebras.

2002-09-14T12:10:00.000-07:00

“you cannot make war because the existence of a society based on instant information, rapid transport, and continuous intercontinental migration, allied to the nature of the new technologies of war, has made war impossible and irrational.”

~ umberto eco ~ 5 moral pieces ("reflections on war" -- written in 1991 as the u.s.a entered the gulf war)

from books.guardian.co.uk, the following view of eco's message, which might i add redundantly i am attempting to echo:

""Reflections on War" was published during the Gulf war but seems prescient after September 11. In the modern world, says Eco, war can no longer attain its objective, but is condemned to be a series of protracted and inconclusive interventions. Multiculturalism means that "everyone has the enemy behind the lines"; modern communication ensures that flows of information cannot be checked; and images of bloody corpses on TV shake the public's faith in any conflict waged in their name. Most importantly, warfare leads to a loss of revenue in the airline, tourism, entertainment and advertising industries that multinational capitalism is unlikely to tolerate for ever. In the final essay on migration and immigration, he explores the notion of the intolerable itself. When something wholly intolerable occurs, it is imperative to build a worldwide consensus to set new thresholds of intolerability."

2002-09-12T12:48:00.000-07:00

are people actually listening to the rhetoric. are they listening carefully? i mean, for years, we heard the word "terrorist" used in my home country.. it was a word that attempted to delegitimise people on the basis of their response to oppression.
also, what is all this moral highground about "weapons of mass destruction". I mean, does the fact that one's own army is so highly technically developed so that one can drop "smart bombs" with precision, make that army morally superior to that of the enemy?
who developed tested and perfected weapons of mass destruction?
who started?
who made and sold weapons to the enemy? big money, nice money, huh, it don't matter who gets them because the sale boosts out economy, more jobs for OUR people, not so? that is morality: we look after our own kind.
ok ok, i am not actually sanctioning terrorst acts that decimate so-called innocent civilians, no. such acts terrify, alienate and escalate hatred, misunderstanding, division and prejudice. humans are not wise enough to overcome the instinct for revenge, it is a very basic primitive instinct.
i am questioning the war rhetoric, in general. the question we must all ask, is: what can war achieve? can we achieve that without the war? we must all ask this, because in a 'democracy', we are responsible, we are all responsible. no leader should make a decision alone, that may impact on the lives of everyone on the planet.
it's the moral high-ground language that we must look at very carefully. is this war all about morality, and about good and evil and who deserves to be in power and who doesn't?
let's just look at the expression that is used, as a persuasive and convincing tool: "world peace". folks, what the f is world peace? can anyone, who has ever seen world peace, raise their hands?
ok, i can wait.
ok, let's work on world peace, and let's elect an army, who can swoop in and excise all the bad leaders. i would like to suggest we start in africa.

2002-09-09T23:04:00.000-07:00

it's that time of the year again: little creatures munching away quietly at lettuce leaves in an old shoebox.. i always SWEAR i will NOT take over and feed them if they are starving, but I can't help myself...

2002-09-08T22:11:00.000-07:00

If the Chief Gherkin visits today, I wanna say, what's cooking lurking gherkin?

2002-09-08T11:55:00.000-07:00

ok this is my first entry and as i type i enter the postmodern world of cyberspace as a slightly euphoric lurker. ignorant, and having fun learning.